I can't say that I was super excited to hear that Evan and I were gonna go to San Jose...I was stoked for the Strikeforce show itself, but from what I hear about the town, it's the armpit of California. However, I am happy to report that the city has drenched itself in Right Guard, because I had a great time.

Upon arriving to the airport, full of burritos and protein shakes thanks to my lovely lady, Evan and I saw the long ass security line and were afraid we were gonna miss our flight. As we approached the lady at Terminal 2, she informed us that we were actually at the WRONG terminal. Although we bought American Airlines, we were actually flying via American Eagle...aka the gay bastard midget child of AA.

"THERE IS NO WAY YOU WILL MAKE YOUR FLIGHT."

So we hopped onto the bus and shot over to the Commuter terminal, where we expected to see hordes upon hordes of commuters...and we saw 7 people in line. We had enough time that I wanted to run back to the lady and call her a whore.

Everything was fine...and then I saw our plane. It was about the size of Tom Kenney. Had it been the Tom Kenney plane that had propellers, I was gonna turn around and leave. We boarded the plane completely hunched over, so that we could fit. Thank the sweet beautiful Jesus above that it was only an hour long fight.

We flew amazingly without incident, and landed in beautiful San Jose. No, I'm serious, it was really nice. And the airport, it was the size of the bathrooms at LAX...I guess not a lot of people like to fly there. You'd figure it'd be bigger to acommodate all the people that want to leave. Guess I was wrong.

We were expecting Crooklyn of Cagesidelive.net to pick us up...so as we are walking to the parking garage, I see a guy in a suit holding a sign. I motion to Evan, "I bet that's for us...haha...HOLY SHIT IT IS FOR US."

Now, I can admit I'm kind of a bum, and I enjoy the simple things. I wear jeans and a t shirt everyday, to black tie dinners if I have to. I've never had a town car pick me up from anywhere. The only limo I ever rolled in was for prom, and for a night with Brittney Skye. But that's Brittney Skye, that's just how she rolls. So both Evan and I were in shock, but hey, we weren't complaining. Free water and jolly ranchers! Town cars are the wave of the future...you watch!

We were also supposed to stay with Crooklyn, but that fell through. So instead, she got us a hotel room. I was expecting to pull into the local Motel 3...not 6, it's only half as good. Once again, we were surprised as we were dropped off at the Hilton.

"Your room is ready, it's on floor 17."

"Are you sure? There's only 18 floors in this building."

"Yessir, your Executive Suite is ready."

WTF

Once again, I'm used to sleeping on couches. This was like a mansion to me. We take the longest elevator ride of our life, drop our bags, and then head on to the BBQ that is being held at the OTM fight shop. Mayhem was over there, doing interviews for ProElite.com



Krazy Horse was there, and as he was being interviewed by Mayhem, Gabe Ruediger hopped in on the action. It went from relaxed and funny to discussion of things being put in people's asses, to Gabe saying Krazy Horse must have had a lot of experience, due to him just being in jail. That's when I took a step back, because I did not want to be anywhere near the melee that was about to occur. Amazingly, everyone was calm and collected, and we avoided some black on Gabe crime.



We head back to the restaurant at the hotel and run into the Professor, Stephen Quadros. We figured it'd be funny to mess with Randy, who was eating nearby.









Eventually, it's fight time, so we head over to the Shark Tank. We run into Nam Phan, and steal some seats next to him. What do I see? Jeff Sherwood covering the event, wearing my shirt. Well, not wearing MY shirt, I don't think his svelte figure could fit. But he was wearing the Ryan Loco shirt. It was a trip.





Sokoudjou rolls in, along with that sick son of a bitch, Ryan Parsons. He and Daniel Puder try to do a mock staredown, but Soko couldn't stop laughing long enough to pull it off. Soko's a bad ass...he's just a big goofy bad ass.





As far as the fights went, Aaron Wetherspoon of KOTC fame lost a decision to Mike Pyle.





Paul Buentello defeated Carter Williams.



Ninja Rua defeated Joey Villasenor.





Josh "The Punk" Thomson got an easy W. Not once in his fight did he not look pretty.



Cung Le continued his hot streak against Tony Fryklund. I don't have any pics of that fight, because I was eating the free food and drinking the free booze in the VIP hospitality suite. But, you'll be happy to know I was watching the fight next to Randy Couture and Gina Carano.

And finally, Frank Shamrock defeated Phil Baroni, but nothing can be taken away from the NYBA. he was a fucking gamer, tough as nails.











After the event, I just followed Puder and we headed over to the VIP dinner. I did not have the proper credentials, but luckily I was with Kelly Perdew and got in. Where I proceeded to drink more of their free alcohol. I look over and see Evan unable to get in. He then gives me the "How the fuck do you always manage to get into these sorts of things" look, which is starting to become a once a week look.

Eventually Evan gets in and we sit down with Sokoudjou, Parsons, Mayhem, and Jeremy Lappan for dinner. They obviously spared no expense, as we ate steak and lobster. Well, actually, I ate 2 lobsters. Evan didn't want his, and I couldn't sit there and let it go to waste.







After the dinner, we headed over to Vivid, for the EliteXC afterparty. I decided to slip out for a bit and then head over to Vault, for Phil's afterparty, being thrown by Tracy of NapkinNights.com

After talking with mark Coleman for a bit outside, I went in and stole some of Phil's pineapple juice. Pretty damn good pineapple juice. I decide to head back over to Vivid, but it's too late and they won't let me in. Despite Ruediger flashing a shiny green bracelet, doing a fishing pole impersonation, and talking with the manager, no dice. I'm stuck outside. Luckily, it's pretty much close to closing, so Evan and Soko come out and keep me from being bored to death. Along comes Mayhem and we follow Buentello over to an afterhours party that wasn't really a party at all, more like hanging out by the front of a club with a bunch of bouncers shaking their head NO. Good times.





We head back to the hotel and go up to Baroni's room for a second. You wouldn't have known he lost, he seemed to be in good spirits, since he seemed to be ingesting some good spirits.

Finally, I get to my room and crash. Sure, Tom of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Gear was sleeping in my bed, but I didn't care. Sadly for him, there was no spooning.

The next morning I woke up to Daniel Puder jumping on top of me. Just the way I want to start my day. I was a bit hungover, due to all the free booze, and was not looking forward to what we had planned.

And I was looking even less forward (I don't know if that's possible or even makes sense) to having to get into a 2 seater with Daniel and Evan. Talk about cramped.



We head over to AKA gym to film the latest episode of Locovision.



But not before Puder takes a cat nap...he doesn't wanna be too tired before he beats the shit out of me.





After pissing some blood, we head to the airport. Get to the airport entrance at 3pm...get through security at 3:04pm. I swear, San Jose is the best airport ever. I want to drive up to San Jose everytime I have to fly anywhere.

All in all, a great trip. I can't wait to come back to watch my boy Sokoudjou tear some shit up.

-Loco

-Loco

Check it out, if you're bored or laid up in a hospital bed with nothing better to do and you have no hot nurses or no morphine button to make you feel better.

-loco

Don't ever go to the LA Coliseum. Promise me, make that oath right now. No need to. I made the mistake of getting off on MLK Jr. Blvd, yeah, don't do that. Not only do you only move 3 feet every 10 minutes, but you also gotta deal with T-Shirt vendors...

ON THE OFF RAMP.

Incoming AIM message: "We just had to bribe an attendant, all the lots are full."

LOW FUEL light pops on.

Oh sweet jesus. I make what felt like an illegal turn and went into an Arco so that I didn't get stuck in L.A. traffic and wait for a tow truck that would probably see my location and say "NO WAY, chump."

Walk in to pay for gas..."Sorry sir, all pumps are closed, someone hit the Emergency Off Switch." Lady behind me..."Well then, fuck the gas, gimme some blunts!"

That's it, I'm gonna die in an ARCO that has a modified McDonald's in. Sweet. Just like I pictured it.

Luckily the gas kicks back on and we're on Figueroa, trying to find parking. The Jew, Evan Shoman, is with me and amazingly, he says he is willing to spend the $40 to park in a lot. Don't let anyone in the Hebrew community know he said that, he'll lose his Jew card.

We pay the $40 and offer up our firstborn children and get a parking spot. We walk towards the Coliseum..."Yo man, nice Sidekick...need another one?"

"Nah man, I already got one."

"Yeah, but this one is only $150!"

"I'm good man, I..."

"$150! $150!"

Thank god for the blinking WALK guy. We head into the Coliseum and I'm amazed at how big it is. Damn thing's monstrous.







Head onto the field and go towards the Media area where they herd us like cattle. Run into superstud Jeff Sherwood, looking svelte as usual, and my dog Stephen Quadros. I got your Ryan Loco shirt, don't you worry killer.



Baroni's there and surprise, surprise...he's wearing a shirt without sleeves.







I'd like to know if Eddie Bravo had to get a ticket for his hair to get in.





"Ladies and Gentleman, here to perform the National Anthem..."

CHEERING

"...known for their hit single "I Swear"..."

AWWWWWWWWW

"ALL 4 ONE!"

BOOOOOOOOOOO

Dennis Rodman comes out to welcome the crowd, to a firm chorus of...boos.

USC alum Johnnie Morton started off the show with a bang...by getting KTFO'd by Bernard Ackah...who apparently is a Jamaican guy from Japan. High 5.





Morton didn't move for a good two minutes, and then got stretchered out. Apparently he's fine now, since he was smart enough to refuse the post-fight piss test. Steroids can't show up on a test you don't take. Write that down kids.







Mighty Mo and Warpath come out for what I hoped would be a clinic in Jiu Jitsu. Guess I was wrong.



Mighty Mo gets the quick TKO. Warpath gets a new eye.



Ricco was obviously not impressed with the fight, since he would rather read about his old boss, Dana.





Dong Sik Yoon faced off against Melvin Manhoef, much to the delight of the Korean crowd.



Yoon pulls off a great armbar, and the crowd goes crazy with Thunder Sticks.



It's time for Sakuraba v Royce. In my life, I never thought I'd see Royce Gracie and Sakuraba fight in person. Now I can say I have. The atmosphere was electric.





The security was forcing everyone to hunch down if they didn't have a seat. Luckily, I had one that I stole. How, I dunno, but I sure as hell wasn't ever moving from it. I was gonna piss my pants before I gave my chair up.

I had better seats than Nicolas Cage, that's how you know the MMA world is messed up.



Frank Trigg obviously feels that he is too good to hunch down, so he instead sits on my lap. Lucky for me, the fight goes all 3 rounds.

"Dude, you have a bony knee."

"Frank, it's a KNEE."



Shoman of course, gets Brittney Skye on his lap. Yeah, life is fair.

Sadly, the fight didn't live up to the hype. I guess I should have expected it, since it's been 7 years since their first encounter, and Sakuraba gets hit in the head. A lot.







Royce got the decision, Helio was happy. Helio is always happy, but it appeared he was happy happy, as opposed to just happy.

What a main event, huh? Oh wait, that wasn't the main event. Royce v Saku is obviously no match for BROCK LESNAR. The 3 time WWE champ. Gotta love the fact that they announced that. Like the crowd should be impressed.

"3 time WWE champ!?!? He must train really hard."





Brock got the submission victory, due to strikes. I'm sure Min Soo Kim was just tired of having the penis tattoo in his face for an extended period of time.



After the event, we hang out for a bit, since traffic is gonna be a motherfucker. Run into Josh Barnett, and decide to walk out to our car with him, for protection. As we're walking out, he turns to me and says something which also made me realize that the MMA world is messed up.

"Wait, you're Ryan Loco? Dude, that Sokoudjou video was hilarious!"

Shameless plug: Which can be found here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijKcamMgS0o

"Man, we're gonna do some pro wrestling stuff...I'm gonna drop you right on your neck!"

"Josh, please stop smiling..."

So now Josh Barnett has signed up for an upcoming episode of Locovision, so be on the lookout.



Overall, I enjoyed the show. I think it had a lot to do with where I was sitting. Had I been in the stands, I probably would have felt differently. But the chance to have Sakuraba face off against Royce 15 feet from me was good enough for me. Would I go to another K-1 show? Absolutely...if it's at the Anaheim Pond.